Mavs Fans For Life

An Irrational Argument for Keeping Boban

The Dallas Mavericks new front office led by GM and President of Basketball Operations, Nico Harrison, will be tasked with finding the right moves to build a contending team around the magical Luka Dončić. Many fans and front-offices are clamoring for their franchise to acquire talent such as Kawhi Leonard, Chris Paul, DeMar Derozan, Mike Conley, and Kyle Lowry. Foolish. All of the other free agents dwarf in comparison to the one true free agent that is a stratosphere of his own, the great and mighty (and loving) Boban Marjanović.

Boban enters unrestricted free agency this off-season and I am terrified that we as Mavs fans may lose this icon to some other, less deserving team. I cannot imagine having to see our Bobi wear some other stupid jersey and joke around with his new friends while Luka sits there watching someone else get all the hugs that are supposed to be his. I have never received a Boban hug so I can only imagine it must feel like getting a hug from your mom and Jesus at the same time, like being lifted to a time and space where nothing exists but peace, love, and basketball. Once you are used to receiving Boban hugs on the regular how could you just go back to living a normal life? I imagine this loss would be devastating for Luka’s psyche and could dangerously derail his development as a basketball player and as a human being. This is not just about Luka, Boban’s arms are so big he can literally hug the entire team at once! Just think about how incredible that bonding experience must be, like a weighted Boban Big Blanket, comforting but firm.

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Photo: @DallasMavs twitter

 As a budding Hollywood star, being featured in several films such as John Wick: Chapter 3, Boban Marjanović offers more to the Mavericks and the city of Dallas than just the World’s greatest hugs. Bobi’s chiseled frame and stoic features mixed with his unparalleled humility and sense of humor make him the best digital content creator in the NBA. Whether it be through media interviews, acting in an in-game production, animated content, his own social media, or candid content with his teammates, Boban always delivers the goods.

Photo: Niko Tavernise/Summit Entertainment

One of my favorite Boban videos was part of an in-game Mavericks Jumbotron video where several different Mavs players were explaining why they wear the number that they do. While most players paid homage to past heroes or explained a while story of how they came to wear that number while Boban, who represents #51 with more class than any athlete in history, simply states, “number is number and Boban is Boban.” This man is so committed to his team and their collective mission that he could care less what number is on his jersey as long as he is part of the team. Just another Bobi attribute and mindset that us mere mortals  can only adore and respect.

Mr. Marjanović is a never-ending stream of feel-good Dallas Mavericks content. At a time when controversy and scandal have made its way throughout the Dallas Mavericks organization why not borrow some of Boban’s credibility by re-signing the most wholesome person that the NBA has to offer.

Boban may be a sweetheart off the court, but when the ball is tossed up everything gets serious. He is like a basketball mullet, strictly business up front but a free-flowing party behind the scenes. When on the court, Boban is one of the most productive players that the NBA has ever seen. Bobi is one of only 6 players in NBA history to post per-36 minute averages of over 24 points and 16 rebounds while playing at least 40 games in a season, joining NBA legends Wilt Chamberlain, Bob Pettit, Elgin Baylor, Walt Bellamy, and Giannis Antetokounmpo. Now I am not saying that Boban is the same as the great Wilt Chamberlain…I am saying he is better! I didn’t see Wilt knocking down 4 three pointers over the course of a season like Boban did in the 2019-2020 season (It doesn’t matter that three pointers did not exist when Wilt played). The man can do it all, he can make you look like a toddler trying to defend his dad on a nerf hoop and then he can cook you around the perimeter and make you pay with long range daggers. For those of you coming with the “per-36 minutes stats mean nothing” line, you can miss me with that. Take it from the man himself, “number is number and Boban is Boban.” Numbers don’t lie and neither does Boban, so leave Boban’s numbers alone!

Some of you may be worried about giving a long-term deal to a big man who is about to turn 33 years old on August 15th (Happy early birthday Bobi!!) and to this I say hogwash! Boban was 6’7” tall when he was just 14 years, despite neither of his parents being able to claim 6’. Now he stands at an astonishing 7’3”. According to my math, at this rate of growth Boban will grow to a towering 7’9” by the time he is 52. Why would we not buy low, literally, on this once in a lifetime physical specimen. Boban is timeless and when it comes to his age it can simply be summed up by “number is number and Boban is Boban.”

Naturally, you would think a player/person of Boban Marjanović’s all-around talents would command top-tier money in free agency. To get elite scoring and rebounding player who is just as valuable off the court as on the court, why would he settle for less than someone like Kawhi Leonard who can’t post Boban style numbers and probably doesn’t even know how to give a proper hug because he is part cyborg. Then again, we have to put ourselves in the mind of Boban, the selfless humble giant that puts the team first. Since “number is number and Boban is Boban” I am confident that Bobi will offer to take much less money than he is actually worth, what’s a couple tens of millions of dollars to someone who is above ego, money, and status?

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Photo: @DallasMavs twitter

I no longer need to expound on the greatness of Boban Marjanović, although that is really all I want to do. Now I will make my proposal to Mark Cuban, Nico Harrison, and Bobi himself based on the FACT that Boban is an elite basketball player, even better person, and not limited by normal limits of time and space. Offer Boban a lifetime contract with the Dallas Mavericks! Not for a stated dollar amount but for whatever is available in budget. “Number is number and Boban is Boban.” He does not care about the specifics, the show of loyalty of offering a lifetime contract would mean more to Boban than any amount of money. For the Maverick’s sake, for the fan’s sake, and for God’s sake, do the right thing and re-sign Boban Marjanović!

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Photo: @DallasMavs twitter

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